My sister is 3 months pregnant and I can’t help but feel excited for her! I am definitely looking forward to meeting this new member of the family and I am fully aware of the fact that the family dynamics (when it comes to grandparents, aunts & uncles) will drastically change for Emma since everyone’s attention will no longer only revolve around her. In fact, it will likely revolve around the new baby for at least the first 3 months.
My sister’s pregnancy brings back memories of my own pregnancy and the first months of parenting and there are several things I felt would have been helpful to know and hear directly from someone else who went through the same thing.
For the mothers:
– Your hormones are crazy and your behavior will be unpredictable. You will be surprised at how strongly you will begin to feel about certain things, especially things you didn’t even care about before. This is normal.
– Set realistic expectations for yourself and your husband – As mothers we always want the best for our child and we want to be prepared and have everything ready, but sometimes that might not happen and accepting this will make it a lot easier
– Morning sickness – Carry crackers, fruits and a bag with you at all times. I had it for 5 months and felt sickly every day. I thought I would never enjoy my pregnancy but it gets better, I promise. Ginger didn’t work for me, the smell of it made me nauseous. I carried crackers and a bag with me everywhere I went.
– Rest. Don’t feel guilty for sleeping too much or for being tired all the time, your body is carrying another human being and is preparing you for mommyhood. Rest up, it is well deserved and much-needed.
– Show appreciation for everything your husband/partner does for you.
For the fathers:
– While pregnant, women tend to overreact to things, your job is to stay calm and lighten up the situation. You can (but really shouldn’t) tell us we are wrong, if we really are, and it must be done in a pleasant, non-offensive way.
– Please keep the compliments coming and keep being romantic. Yes, we are pregnant and are carrying your child, but we are still women and continue to be your wife/partner so don’t let pregnancy be a deterrent.
– Help out in everything you can. Every little thing counts, even the minor things. Make sure the baby has the necessary essentials (bed/bassinet, car seat, clothes, diapers, first aid kit, creams, towels, wipes, bottles, etc). Also, make sure you work out everything with the insurance that is covering the medical expenses, and arrange for all the payments that need to be made to cover all the Doctor visits and hospital.
– Don’t ever try to compete or compare about who is more tired or who has to do more. You have no idea what is going on in a pregnant woman’s body, let alone her head. And once the baby is born, don’t even bother. Just know that you are a team and there is no sense in competing, just get things done.
– Be extremely appreciative to your wife/partner for everything she is going through and everything she does.
Take a vacation/break together. This will be the last time (in a long time) you take some time together without a little one. It will reinforce your relationship.